start here

sending dirty text messagesThere are many ways you can spice up your relationship. One great way to do this is through sending dirty text messages. Of course, before you start sending dirty text messages to your partner, you need to use common sense. If you don’t use common sense when sending dirty text messages, you can very easily find yourself in an awkward situation.

What Are Dirty Text Messages?

For those new to dating, dirty text messages are simply text messages that are sexual in nature. Think about something you would love to do to your partner, say lightly run your hands up and down her body while nibbling on her ear. That would be an example of a dirty text message, well a not graphic one at least.

The great thing about sending dirty text messages is that you can be as explicit as you and your partner like. You can even take it a step further and send sexts to one another – more on this below. But as I mentioned above, you have to use common sense about it. Here are some guidelines.

Sending Dirty Text Messages: The Guidelines

  • Don’t Do It Too Soon: Make sure you know the person you are with before sending dirty text messages. By this I mean, if the relationship doesn’t last, he or she could use them against you by posting them online. Therefore, you need to know who you are dating before starting to send dirty texts.
  • Get On The Same Page: Make sure you are both OK with sending dirty text messages and you both agree on how far you will take them. If one of you is more reserved, they might not like to read how you want to tie them up or choke them during sex.
  • But Push The Boundaries: If your sex life is as bland as vanilla ice cream, then you can push it a little further via dirty texts. You can learn that you are into some things that you otherwise would not have known. After all, we all have fantasies. It’s just that some fantasies are better left as a fantasy and not actually acted upon. Just make sure you tell your partner when they crossed the line.
  • Understand What Your Partner Does For A Living: If they work in an office building in a cubicle, you don’t have to think twice about sending the texts. But if they are a sales person and are around others all of the time, then sending dirty texts might not be the smartest thing to do.
  • Set Your Phone Preferences: If you find yourself in the situation above, look to change your text message settings so that you only see who a text is from and not a summary of what they said. This can save you lots of embarrassment. For example, let’s say your girlfriend is with her Dad. She is grabbing something and he sees her phone go off. He decides to look to tell her who called and sees that you want to make her howl like a coyote while you hit it from behind. That’s not going to go over too well.


Now we get to sexting. Sexting is simply sending dirty text messages that are pictures of you. Many times, these pictures are naked pictures of you. All of the guidelines from above apply here as well as a few others:

  • No Faces: Relationships end all of the time. You never know if those pictures of you were saved and are now online or are being seen by your ex’s friends. By keeping your face out of the picture, you at least can deny that the person is really you.
  • No Identifying Marks: In addition to not showing your face, make sure that no tattoos or piercings can be seen either. Again, anything that can identify that the picture is you should be left off. Also, be aware of the background. Many times the background can give clues as to who is in the picture.
  • Wear Clothes: I love a naked woman just as much as the next guy. But do you know what I find most sexy? A scantily clad woman. It lets my imagination run wild. I can think of how I will undress her and what I will do to her as I am undressing her. Remember, men are visual creatures. Instead of sending naked pictures of you, send pictures of yourself in a sexy bra and panties and tell your man this is what is waiting for him.
  • Agree To Delete: Lastly, make an agreement that you delete the pictures after they are viewed. Again, you never know when you will hand your phone to a friend to show them a picture and they start scrolling through all of your pictures.

Final Thoughts

Sending dirty text messages to your partner is a great way to spice things up and keep the romance alive. But as I pointed out, you have to think things through before you send anything. The last thing you want to do is cause harm or embarrassment to the one you love. Before sending dirty text messages, be sure to think things through and be safe. But have fun doing it as well!

when to have sex in a relationshipThe question of when to have sex in a relationship comes up a lot by people in a blossoming relationship. Do you wait until the third date, which is considered typical in today’s world? If you’re feeling chemistry on the first date is it OK to have sex that soon? I am going to walk you through the various choices and tell you exactly when to have sex in a relationship, which will keep your relationship healthy and ideally, long-lasting.

When To Have Sex In A Relationship

On The First Date

The answer for the question should you have sex on the first date is an easy one. It’s no. When you have sex on a first date, many times it signifies something that we mistake for a connection. These include:

  • Getting caught up in the moment (aka mistaking lust for love)
  • Felt pressured by the guy
  • Craved intimacy
  • Saw yourself as the exception rather the rule

Look, I’ll be the first to tell you that sometimes, long-term relationships do happen when sex occurs on the first date. But it is not all that often. When you have sex on the first date, many men will begin to question how many other guys you have slept with on first dates. He may even view you differently, as a booty call instead of someone he can introduce to his parents.

I’m not saying that all guys feel this way, but many guys do. Having sex on the first date is just asking for trouble. You see it as a sign of commitment, while a guy sees it as satisfying his primal needs. When he doesn’t call you, you wonder why and become bitter towards him. I’m not defending either sex here, I am just telling you how the two sexes view the act of sex on the first date differently.

After The Third Date

Many people have sex now on the third date. The question is, is it the right time for you to have sex? For many, that answer will be yes. They have spent enough time with the other person to know that they are attracted to them and that they see a future with them. As a result, they decide to give in to their physical attraction and have sex.

Is this bad? Not at all. If you are ready, go for it. (I know this sounds like I am saying it is OK to have sex on the first date, but I’m not. You don’t know anything about the person on the first date.) But, if you aren’t ready for it, then no, you shouldn’t have sex.

When To Have Sex In A Relationship

So when should you have sex in a relationship? When it feels right to you and you are ready for it. Crazy, I know. Look, guys are going to try to have sex with you from the minute they meet you. Sometimes it will be because we like you and other times it’s because we just want sex. Remember, it’s our nature to “spread the seed”. We have sex with women we love and we have sex with women we have no interest in seeing again.

Your job is to be confident and self-assured of yourself to be able to hold out until you are ready for sex and for when you know he wants to be with you for who you are, and not for what you can offer him (a sexual partner in this case).

Of course, if you are just looking for no-strings-attached sex, then none of this matters. I’m talking to those that are looking for a long-term relationship. For these women, knowing when to let a man sleep with you is key. As long as you wait until you are ready, you can be assured that whenever you want to have sex is the right time.

Final Thoughts

If you find yourself being someone that tends to wait longer than the third date to have sex, just make certain you are letting the man know what is in store for him. Some men will end a relationship if they don’t have sex by the third date. Others will stay. For most, we will stay if we know that this budding relationship will eventually lead to sex. (Don’t take this as this being the only reason we are staying.) But you have to show us that there is potential there for a relationship. In other words, you can wait to have sex until you are ready, just make sure you show us you are interested in the relationship moving forward.

Why Hasn’t He Called?

I hear women all of the time ask the question “why hasn’t he called” when referring to the days and weeks after what was seemingly a great date. The answer to why hasn’t he called is a simple one, but for whatever reason, it is dismissed by most. The reason why he hasn’t called is […]

Read the full article →

How To Date A Shy Guy

In my last post, Dating Tips For Shy Guys, I talked about how guys that are shy can succeed in the dating world. Today I am going to talk to the women out there that might be wondering how to date a shy guy. Dating a shy guy is completely different than dating someone who […]

Read the full article →

Dating Tips For Shy Guys

These are my dating tips for shy guys. I’m shy. There I said it. When I was little, everyone thought I was cute because I was shy. As an adult, everyone that didn’t know me thought I was a jerk because I didn’t’ go out of my way to make friends. Somehow along the way, […]

Read the full article →

What Do You Want In A Relationship

Are you struggling with having a successful relationship? My guess is that if you are, it’s because you haven’t figured the following out: what do you want in a relationship. You think you know, but you really have no clue. Admit it, when was the last time you sat down by yourself and wrote on […]

Read the full article →

How To Get Your Ex To Want You Back

If you haven’t done so already, I encourage you to read my post, how to get back together with your ex before reading this post. Doing so is going to save you a lot of time and money. Now, if you still want to know how to get your ex to want you back, there […]

Read the full article →

How To Get Back Together With Your Ex

So you want to know how to get back together with your ex. Here you go: You don’t want to. Trust me, it’s a waste of your time. Now before you go running off to do another search and pay someone money for a “revolutionary product” or “the secret formula” that will have your ex […]

Read the full article →

My Online Dating Adventures

If you’ve read my reviews of online dating sites through my dating chart, you will know that I was a member of many online dating sites. But for the most part, I was on the following sites the most:   eHarmony JDate PlentyofFish Each one is unique and I have stories for each one. […]

Read the full article →

How To Go From Dating To A Relationship

You’ve been seeing a girl you like particularly well for a few months now and are considering going from dating to a relationship. But you are nervous. How do you know if you should go from dating to a relationship? Here are some tips to help you out as well as a plan to take […]

Read the full article →