One of the most comprehensive internet dating sites, eHarmony questions take the guesswork out of online dating
More than 400 singles marry a match they found on eHarmony every day. Find out why the online dating site is one of the most successful and how to review your matches for FREE!
I was on eHarmony twice. Of all of the online dating websites, I personally liked eHarmony the most, basically because it took some of my “bias” out of meeting people.
You see, eHarmony isn’t like the other dating sites out there. With most sites, you create a username, fill out a profile, upload a few pics, and then you are mainly on your own to find matches. Yes, many of the other sites send you a few people that it feels you would be compatible with, but eHarmony goes one step further.
eHarmony takes the guesswork out of online dating to help match you with other singles…and they’ve recently made it free to get started!
What is eHarmony?
OK, that’s an exaggeration, but you really do have to answer a ton of questions. I think it took me close to an hour to answer them all.
Here’s the deal with all the eHarmony questions:
Before you go running after reading that last sentence, hear me out: this is the great thing about eHarmony. By really getting to know you, the site is much better at matching you up with members of the opposite sex. After all, with eHarmony, you never search for matches like you do with other dating sites.
You simply sit back and let the system send you matches. As a guy, what’s better than sitting back and having girls emailed to you? Nothing that I can think of!
How to Fill out Your eHarmony Profile and Questions
Your eHarmony profile is just as time consuming as the answering of questions above. Overall, your profile is broken down into the following sections:
- In My Own Words
- Something to Talk About
- My Photos
In the ‘My Own Words’ section, you have eHarmony questions that delve into your influences, things you can’t live without and books you’ve read for example. To help you out, eHarmony offers up “sample answers” to give you some help when thinking of your response.
In the ‘Values’ section, there is a list of every single character trait man has ever thought of. You check off the ones you are looking for in your future partner and then repeat the process for the character traits you are not looking for in your future partner.
This is a lot of work compared to other online dating sites but don’t get lazy on the eHarmony questions. If you want the same tired way of internet dating then try one of the million other sites, we’ve got the nine best rated in our online dating comparison chart.
If however, you are serious about finding a real match online then take some time to fill out the eHarmony questions and profile. Don’t try to do it all in one day. Take a couple of days to answer the questions then let it sit for a day before reviewing your answers.
How does this all work to find you a match?
The power of eHarmony is in its mountain of data from years of matching people. No other dating site will find a better match because no other site goes through the exhaustive process of finding out who you really are.
Once all of this is done, you sit back and wait for magic!
Getting Matched on eHarmony
After a few hours (or a day in some instances), eHarmony will start to email you with potential matches. You simply log into your account and click on the ‘My Matches’ link to read their profiles and check out their pics.
You have three options at this point:
- Decide to communicate with them
- Decide you don’t want to communicate with them
- Do nothing
Communicating with Your eHarmony Match
If you decide to begin communicating with your matches, you have to follow the eHarmony process. This process lasts three rounds:
Get To Know Each Other: Here you will choose 3 multiple-choice questions to ask you match. They answer and then ask you 3 multiple-choice questions as well. If everything is kosher, you move on to….
Must Have’s/Can’t Stands: This is where you send your match your must have’s in a relationship as well as your can’t stands. After they review these, they send you theirs. Again, if everything looks good, you move onto the next step….
Learn More: Here is where is gets fun! You ask 3 pre-determined questions or you can write your own. Your match will answer in a few sentences and then send you their questions for you to answer. Assuming again that everything is good you move on to…..
Blood/STD Testing: Here you submit a sample of both your blood and a certified copy of your clean bill of health from your doctor. A notary seal is required. You can use STDCheck to schedule your testing online and visit one of their clinics.
Open Communication: Here you openly email back and forth, eventually exchange phone numbers and agree to meet, etc.
A few notes on everything I just talked about:
There used to be an option where you could skip the back-and-forth process listed above and move right into “open communication” (aka emailing from the start). You would ask the other person to skip everything and if they agreed, you would email. If they didn’t, you would go through the process above.
At any point during the back-and-forth, if the other person’s answers don’t meet your expectations, you can end communication with them. You don’t have to go through the entire process.
Not Communicating with Your Match
If on the other hand, you are not interested in the match eHarmony sent you, then you have two choices: do nothing or close the match.
Personally, I suggest you close the match. It’s the same thing as rejecting someone at the bar, but your behind a computer screen so you don’t have to watch them hold back the tears, walk away with their head down and shoulders slumped forward, and hear them crying in the bathroom about never finding someone. In other words, it’s much easier. Seriously though, it’s best for everyone.
This is because you can also choose to not close communication and do nothing. This doesn’t work. Trust me. When I first went on, I didn’t want to close out a girl and crush her hopes and dreams of being with an Adonis like me. What happened was eventually, many times she would initiate communication. That put me in a bigger pickle. I didn’t want to not respond and leaver her hanging for days/weeks.
Take from me, if you aren’t interested, close out the match. If you’re not sure, leave it open, but be sure to revisit the match and close it out if you aren’t interested.
Things I Like About eHarmony
Matches Sent To You: As a busy person, eHarmony saved me time. I didn’t have to sit down and search through profiles trying to find a match. The site did a great job with sending me people I was interested in both times I was on the site.
Really Get To Know: Let’s be honest, when you are using online dating, you are trying to be funny and appear attractive. You don’t get to know the must have’s or can’t stands of the other person until a few dates in. If on date 3 you find out that your match can’t stand the city and your goal is to move to the city, you just wasted both of your time. eHarmony lets you know these things right from the start and saves you both time.
Weeding Out: Some people might complain about the time commitment of creating a profile on eHarmony and going through the communication process. I actually enjoyed it because it weeds out the players and because it helps to get to know the other person. When I would get to the email stage or call the girl, I would have a lot of things I could potentially talk about. With other sites, I would have to really think of things to talk about and then have to deal with the many awkward silences.
Things I Dislike About eHarmony
Distance: I’m not sure what it is about their algorithm, but I set up my dating distance – how far I’d be willing to travel to a date – but the system kept sending me matches on the outskirts of this limit. And, I live just outside of a large metropolitan area which was well within my distance parameters!
Missing Out: I found that it is easy to lose someone. In other words, with busy lives, it’s easy to forget to answer one person’s questions and then lose them as the system keeps sending you new matches every day. They get buried at the bottom of the page and eventually out of your mind.
As I mentioned at the start, I used eHarmony twice. The first time I used it, I met a lot of women and ending up dating a woman for a few months. After that relationship ended, I took some time off from dating and then signed back up a few years later.
The second time I was on the site, I didn’t have to go through the entire process. I was able to reuse my original answers, though the site did recommend I go through the process again to make sure nothing had changed in the time I was away.
I met many women again on eHarmony. I was working full-time and attending graduate school, so I loved not having to spend time searching for matches. I could log on every few days and run through my matches and go through the communication process.
In the end, I met my wife on Match.com (I was on both at the same time), but would have stayed a member on eHarmony longer than Match if I hadn’t met her. And for what it is worth, my sister met her husband on eHarmony.
Overall Thoughts eHarmony Review
Overall, I recommend using eHarmony. It will take you time to set up your profile and to go through the communication process, but I found it took a lot of the pressure off of the entire process. Along with finding a better match compared to other online dating sites, you might just learn a thing or two about yourself by answering all those eHarmony questions.
As a guy, I also liked it because it took some of the “fear of rejection” out of the dating process. Yes you will still get rejected, but your odds are decreased since the system matched you.
The cost of eHarmony is a little higher than other dating sites. Like other sites though, they do offer you discounts if you sign up for a longer term. You can choose to sign up for one month ($59.95), three months ($39.95), six months ($29.95), or one year ($19.95). Note that the prices are charged on a monthly basis.
Get Started on eHarmony, Click here to find your long-term relationship
Is eHarmony guaranteed to find you love? Of course not, no dating site can guarantee a match but eHarmony is different enough from the other sites that you have a better chance where the others fail. The monthly cost on eHarmony is a little higher but what’s the price of finding a better match and being happy? Give it a try, answer the eHarmony questions honestly and see why more marriages come from matches on the site than at any other.